Used Up

Can I trust a God that would use me up completely for the sake of someone else or something else? Can I trust a God like that? Is that fair at all to go through a situation and act and be who I am supposed to be and get nothing from it? Would I be OK with a God who would completely waste my life for the good of others?

I have a great friend that posed these questions to me a while back, but I really did not have much of a context to answer these questions, so I just chatted with him a little bit about them. However, recently I have had a few experiences that have left me ‘unfairly’ treated and somewhat ‘used up’; all for the sake of those around me and of no discernable good for me.

Is that fair? To be exactly who I am supposed to be and get no reward for it?

Depends on how I view God. If I think that I can control God with my behavior and actions and heart motives, then I am way off base. God is Creator and Sovereign and Lover and Savior. I am not. He is in the heavens and does as He pleases. (Psalm 115:3) To think that I can control situations and life events with the way I act and behave is absurd.

I have often thought and still think sometimes that if I will just be the man God has called me to be, and the worker God has called me to be, and the friend that God has called me to be, then God will have to reward that and give me the desires of my heart.

What a foolish attitude that has crept in my heart and snuck into my life unnoticed. I thought that I could control God and make Him behave the way I wanted Him to.

A common American way of thinking that often gets associated with Christianity is, ‘God helps those who help themselves.’ Not true in the least sense. God is in the Heavens and He does as He pleases. (Psalm 115:3) God helps those whom He desires to help, regardless of human behavior. God does as He desires and acts for His glory and our utmost joy. My pastor says this a lot, ‘God is more committed to His Glory and your joy than you ever will be.’ I think this is true and consistent with the Scriptures.

A common verse used to back this view is this:

 ‘God works all things for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.’ Romans 8:28

This is a completely true statement, but the Scripture does not leave this up to our interpretation as to what is for our good. Paul continues:

‘For those whom He foreknew (or fore-loved) He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, in order that He might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom He predestined He also called, and those whom He called He also justified, and those whom He justified He also glorified.’ Romans 8:29-30

So, our good is found in that which conforms us into the image of God’s Son, Jesus Christ. That is what is good for me, not whatever I thought or think is best for me. God knows that to conform me into the image of His Son is of far greater significance than any other fleeting joy on this earth. I love that I am the passive agent in all of this. God loved. God predestined. God called. God justified. God glorifies. God gets all the glory, not me.

There’s a story in the Old Testament about a man named Isaac (the son of Abraham). God tells Rebekah, his wife, that she will have two sons and the older one will serve the younger one. This was very inconsistent with an honor-based, patriarchal society. Paul says that this was to show that God was sovereign not because of human works but simply because God calls. Paul asked whether this was injustice on God’s part, because Esau (the older son) ‘deserved’ to be honored as the oldest and was ‘unfairly’ treated. Paul then quotes God’s words to Moses in Exodus 33:19.

‘I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion. So then it depends not on human will or exertion, but on God, who has mercy. For the Scripture says to Pharaoh, ‘For this very purpose I have raised you up, that I might show my power in you, and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth. So then He has mercy on whomever He wills, and He hardens whomever He wills.’ Romans 9:15-18

I think we like to think that we can control God and order His steps. We like to think that God will be forced to react a certain way if we just behave, however I don’t believe this. I do know that God rewards and blesses the righteous. I do think that it is OK to receive blessing and rewards from God, knowing that they come down from God the Father. But when we expect to be rewarded and aren’t, we can’t question whether God is there, or righteous, or faithful. He Is, even when we doubt. He Is, even if we don’t understand.

To answer my initial question, ‘Can I trust a God that would use me up completely for the sake of someone else or something else?’, I will do it this way.

Yes. Yes I can, and Yes I do.

So, for me to be ‘used up’ ‘unfairly’ does not lead me to hatred or questioning, but to a place of worship for a God that knows me and knows what I need more than I think I do. I definitely have questioned and wondered if this is what is for the best, but I trust God more than I trust my doubting.

My prayer is not for my situation to change, but for me to see God more rightly. Enlarge not my territories, but my view and love of You, God.