Playing The Game Well

Do you ever feel like life is a big game? I think so, and I’ve thought about this a lot over the years as I have struggled to play the game well.

I know how to play the game, but that doesn’t mean that I want to. I know the answers. I know the right things to say (most of the time). However, just because I have and know the right answer (concerning missions, the Bible, the gospel, life, drinking, career, etc.), that does not mean that my life has been consistent with the words that I say. Does knowing the right answers get in the way of my realness? Does an understanding of this Game get in the way of deep and right relationships? Does a developed skill at playing this Game well hinder growth?

One of the virtues that I hold very highly is honesty, or you might call it realness. This hasn’t always been the case though. Pre-college, I’d say that I had not seen a whole lot of realness. This observation though is mostly an indictment on me and my lack of honesty with others. I had more masks and fronts that I was even aware of. I rarely let anyone in to see who I really am. I learned to play the game early.

The Game, as I have seen it, seems to be about putting on an air of having all things together, so that others might either respect or love you. The Game, in my perception, is about only showing strength and coolness and never showing weakness or un-coolness.

To get good at the game, one must learn what it is that others might want to see in you. This is problematic for many reasons. First, as Christians our aim is not to please men but to please God. Because of the gospel’s effect on our life, we are pleasing to God because of Jesus Christ and do not have to work to be somebody of value and worth. Second, it is impossible to please men, because we are fickle and our emotions are ever-changing. We can never keep up with a standard that is ever-changing. Third, we are imperfect beings and will never be rid of weaknesses and be filled with coolness. To put on the mask of having all things together is a lie and inconsistent with what we all know to be true.

To get good at the game, one must learn how to cover weakness and mask it as coolness, where weakness is defined as the things that you believe that others don’t want to see in you and coolness are those things that you believe others do want to see in you. This is also problematic, because Paul said that in our weakness, His power is made perfect. When we have all things together (or think we do), then we become independent of God, which is the opposite of how we are supposed to live towards Him; in complete dependency.

To get good at the game, one must never be completely honest. To be completely honest is to admit weakness and lack of coolness. This would be a detriment to ones status in the game. This is likewise problematic to the Christian, since we are people of the Truth which is Jesus Christ. We are called to be people who know the Truth and speak the Truth. To play the game well is not speak of the Truth.

To get good at the game, one must be about elevating oneself above everyone else. Since we are not perfect, we make this game about being better than those around you. We might even surround ourselves with people we deem as being less than we are so that we might look great; sandbagging is the term for this in sports. The problem with this is that we are comparing ourselves to the wrong standard. Our Standard is not other men, but Christ Jesus Himself. When we compare ourselves to Him, we see how weak and needy we truly are.

This game is filled with problematic rules and assumptions. To call oneself a Christian and continue to submit to the rules of the game is inconsistent.

We are fully accepted because of the gospel. We are fully free because of the gospel. We are called heirs and sons of God because of the gospel. We are free from pleasing others because of the gospel. We are free to love because of the gospel. We are free to be weak and un-cool because of the gospel. The gospel is our ticket out of the game.

However, when I continue to submit to the rules of the Game, I hinder deep and right relationships. I put a barrier between me and others and God. When I keep playing the game (knowing the right answers, putting on masks, acting inconsistently with who God says that I am, etc.), I hinder growth in Christ and love for others. I become too worried with how people see me in the flesh and not worried about the gospel being seen clearly in me.

In college, I began to find guys who once had played the game well, but had surrendered their lives to the gospel. They were so free and full of life, and I wanted that. I have tried to surround myself with these people, so that they will rub off on me and force me to be real. This is what I desire; to be able to be real and not worry about playing the game well.

We will never meet the standard imposed on us by others, so why keep trying to? Get out of the game and come to Jesus; in Him is found true freedom. In Him, we are free to be weak and un-cool. In Him, we are free to love. In Him, we are fully accepted. In Him, we have life free from the games that we play.