Secret Thread

Last week, I had the opportunity to go to Youth Camp with my church here in Midland. This camp was quite different than my previous experiences with camp while growing up. In Huntington, we felt good when we loaded up a whole bus of people. Stonegate took 11 buses, plus more personal vehicles. I was only a face in the crowd of 100+ volunteers who poured their lives into students’ lives that week. It was a joy and an honor to be part of such a great week.

I have learned much about myself over the years, but I still surprise myself with my weaknesses. I am initially hard to get to know, because of my natural self-smart, introverted personality. I can come across as cold, guarded and unfriendly. These traits are only partially true. It takes me time to warm up to people and feel out the situations to know what role I am to play in the groups I find myself in. In some sense, this is a beautiful trait, but it is also a broken trait. I use my personality as an excuse to seek comfortable situations instead of putting myself out there in friendship and vulnerability. This became evident throughout the week with my 10^th and 11^th graders. God used all of this anyway and He was glorified in spite of me.

Our Senior Pastor spoke on Monday night to the high-school students and it was a very powerful talk. As I have said often, the books, messages, and songs that speak the deepest to me speak of things that I already  sense of the truth of. These things I am usually passionate about, but have yet to speak such eloquent words concerning. C.S. Lewis called this idea the ‘secret thread’. He said that normally we could not put this secret thread into words, but we centered our lives around this ‘secret thread’ which binds us to such ideas, scenery, hobbies and friendships. Our Pastor spoke of this ‘secret thread’ and I deeply connected with his message. This became more evident when the next night, others deeply connected to an outside speaker, Kathy Koch, and I found myself disinterested. There may have been other barriers in place, but I think for whatever reason, God has designed our hearts to desire this ‘secret thread’.

Our Pastor made this statement, backed it up with Scripture, and then he dialogued with us for an hour.

‘We are all preparing to give our hearts away to that thing, person or idea which we believe will give us the greatest joy, satisfaction and ultimate purpose. We will not do this half-heartedly, but will sell completely out for this thing, person or idea. No matter what this thing, person or idea is, it will suck the life from us. All things will steal the life out of us, but only Jesus Christ will give that life back.’

I think this is very true. We give ourselves to whatever it is that we believe will satisfy us most deeply. We all seek our own good, without exception. In America, we see most people pursue this through material possession or immaterial ‘success’, however they might define success. We think that a certain salary or level of status or personal gain will make us worth something in a deeper sense. We think that the cares and pleasures of this world exist to give us joy, but Jesus said that these choke out the fruit and steal life from us. He went on to say that unless a grain of wheat should fall to the ground and die, he will never bear fruit and have life. We must die to ourselves and pursue Christ in order for true life, satisfaction and ultimate meaning to be had.

This message resonated with me and spoke in a very relevant way to the youth in our church. In wealthy, upper middle-class Midland, Texas, we have more than we ever need and in turn do not know what it is to rely on Jesus Christ or to face persecution for our faith. If we allow our riches to get in the way, they will steal life from us and keep us from experiencing the gospel which gives life.

In the rest of the Parable of the Sower, the other ‘soils’ respond differently to the seed, that is the word of God. Even this very true message bounces off some people and has no effect. For others it never takes root and does not bear fruit. For others it takes root, but gets choked out by the pursuits of this earthly life. And for the few on the narrow way, it takes root and bears fruit. This message was very poignant for me in our discussion groups. For some, they couldn’t get enough of the message and for others they couldn’t wait to get out of the group.

This message was again confirmed in me today as I read an email from the team that just got back from Guinea, West Africa. It was heart wrenching to hear of some who had claimed to follow the Jesus Way, but have turned to their own way. And still others are continuing in the faith, bearing fruit in keeping with repentance. They are pressing into knowing Jesus more and being faithful to Him in the face of persecution.

Thinking about all of these things has made me so thankful and humbled to have experienced the Gospel of Jesus Christ. It was no doing of my own. Even in my desperate sinfulness, He reached in and intervened. Even in my wavering, He is faithful. Even in my undeserved flesh, He sees me as perfect, holy and righteous. This is the gospel. This is what gives life, not more money, fame or status.

Jesus is worth it all.