To the Fields

I realize that I have been absent from writing for a while. I’ve encountered a season of dryness in my writing, reading and thinking. I am not real sure what has brought this on, but I hope that it ends soon.

Thursday of this past week will be a day that lives in infamy in my mind for a while. Granted it’s not the end of the world, but it was a monumental moment in my life thus far.

Two weeks prior, my boss had asked me to schedule some time with him to discuss my Career Development Plan. This is a normal refresh, so for him nothing out of the ordinary was happening. However, I knew that I couldn’t not tell him the news. To call myself a Christian and go in there without revealing what’s going on in my life, would be very inconsistent.

So I began to prepare mentally, physically, spiritually for 3:00 on Thursday. For me, this consisted of refusing to think about this until the last possible moment. My boss walked in about 9:30 and asked if we could move our meeting up. I asked for 30 minutes, so that I could breathe and pray, knowing that I had refused this conversation any room in my thoughts.

Many have asked me if I ever thought about going back and just not following through my plans. The reality is that I never allowed that to be an option. Sure, thoughts of doubt and hesitancy entered my mind, but never to the point that I felt like I was making the wrong decision. Too many times this calling on my life has been confirmed and encouraged. For me to turn back now, would reveal a severe distrust and lack of faith in God who has brought me here.

So I walked down there at 10 and shared my heart. I told him about what God has been doing in my heart and that He is taking me a new direction. I told him about my desire to be in full-time missions of some sort. I told him that I will be walking away from Chevron in August to go to Southern Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky to enter into a season of being prepared. I told him about my lack of a clear plan right now as to what that full-time mission might look like. (Chevron international, Chevron stateside, IMB Missionary, Living Water, Local Pastor, etc.) I told him that I will continue to work hard until my final day. I told him that I wanted to talk with as many people individually about this decision, before we told a big group.

In all fairness to my boss, it would be hard not to be shocked by this news. Who walks away from a bright future and a cushy career to a possible life-threatening career? He was very supportive and happy for me to be choosing to follow God. He did call my move bold and risky, which I am choosing to count as a compliment, not an underhanded shot at me. He also said that even though it was shocking to hear, it fit right in with how I have lived my life up to that point. This was very encouraging for me to hear.

Most people don’t reveal how they view you until a moment of loss or frustration. So we operate not knowing exactly how we are representing Christ in everything, but in hopes that others might see Him in our lives and hear Him in our words. We chose to be faithful and fruit will follow as God sees fit. We can only control our faithfulness not our fruitfulness. We often do not even recognize fruit as God recognizes fruit. The farmer tills up the earth, plants the seeds, and waters the ground, but God is the one who causes the fruit to grow.

I have talked about this for what seems like decades, although has only been about 2 years. I am finally making good on some action to follow those words. I am opening up my hands and releasing my grasp on my career, life and success. I am choosing to trust that God’s Word is the Truth and I am banking my life on it. I am choosing to be faithful to the One who has been Faithful to us. I know not how the fruit will grow, but I am ready to labor in the fields.