I am continuing on in my study of the Bible in 100 days. This past few days has put me in the Book of Numbers. Perfect for an engineer, right? Here’s a journal entry written on 1/14/11.
‘I think I begin to realize everyday more and more how wicked my heart is. It does not take much at all for me to turn from the paths laid out for me. I choose my own way almost every time. God, help me to choose You and give me a heart each day that wants You.’
Tonight as I read some in Numbers, I could not help but get a little frustrated with the people of Israel. Think about what has happened to this point and what God had done.
· God brought them out of slavery that had lasted decades upon decades.
· God miraculously saved them from the Egyptians at the Red Sea, but for some reason the people wanted to go back to Egypt. Slavery. Death. (Num. 11:5-6)
· God powerfully provided food and drink for them in the wilderness everyday, but the people were not satisfied with His provision. (Num. 11:1)
· God laid out His way for them through Moses, but they chose not to follow it. (Num. 15:32-36)
· God showed them His presence everyday with a cloud or a fire, but for some reason they tried to go without God to places that He did not want them to go. (Num. 14:39-45)
· God has even showed them a glimpse of His future provision/promise (the Promised Land), but the people do not trust that God will be faithful to His Word. (Num. 13:25-33)
· God clearly revealed Himself through Moses countless times, but for some reason the people rebel against Moses. However, the people that rebelled (and their families) were literally swallowed up by the earth and consumed by fire. (Num. 16)
At this point, the people of Israel had seen God prove Himself over and over, yet still found ways to rebel and not love God. They had clearly seen God. They had seen God. They saw God everyday. They saw God’s provision every morning. They had seen God’s future provision. They had seen and had no excuse. God had proved Himself faithful and loving over and over, yet still they turned to their own way.
Like I said, I was just irritated with the people. Then, I took a look back in my journal and read what I had written some 10 days ago.
I am no different than the Israelite people. I choose my own way – almost always. Though I have seen God provide, though I have seen God be faithful, though I have seen God be powerful, though I have seen God move, though I have seen, I still choose to not honor God as just that. The one, true God, Almighty.
Something else that I cannot seem to fully grasp is Grace. I have been thinking more and more about it. I listen constantly for people to say ‘the grace of God’. I am constantly looking for the manifestation of God’s Grace around me. It is here at this point that I have been stuck for a while now, and I want to stay right here.
God is so Gracious. God gives when we take. God provides when we rebel. God loves when we hate. God is merciful when we deserve death. God knows our wickedness and still pursues, loves and saves. God’s Grace comes when we are at our worst, not our best, but even at our best, we would still need Grace, because our best is as dirty, filthy rags to Him. How could be ever feel deserving of such a love? How could we ever say we deserve anything?
God commands the people to wear blue tassels on their garments to remember a few things. (Num. 15:37-41) To remember to follow the commands of God. To remember to not follow after their own heart and eyes, which God says they are inclined to whore after. The blue represents their calling to be a royal, chosen priesthood. God wants them to love Him. God wants them to know that He chose them long before they would ever choose Him. God wants them to know that He will continue to choose them by His Grace, even when they do not choose Him.
Thank You for choosing us. Help us to choose You, no matter what. Thank You for Your Grace, which is completely undeserved on our part. Help us to remember.
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