Notes from Midland thus far

1) This past weekend I as officially welcomed into West Texas. I was invited to go with a buddy (yes, I’m beginning to make friends) to some land out in Big Spring to shoot clays, learn to drive a back-hoe, weld and other manly things. Now, if there is anything more manly and more West Texas than blasting things out of the air, driving a 50 year old machine, melting metal together and eating Whataburger, then I don’t know what it is. It was  a lot of fun and has stirred in me my first desire ever to hunt.

2) One thing about the oil business (especially in a boom, like we are entering into) is that I could eat free lunch just about every day if I wanted to. One of our service companies is always wanting to pay for lunch, so that we’ll continue to pay for their services. I thought college was the time to get free food, but I’m beginning to think that now is primetime for that. At first, I kind of felt bad about it, but now I feel slighted when I don’t get lunch paid for. (which reveals how selfish and arrogant I have become in the past few months…more on this later) It’s just the way it goes out here.

3) There are literally 327 Mexican food restaurants in Midland. I have eaten at about 5 at this point, and I have not come across one that I don’t like. I come from College Station, where there is only 1 or 2 decent Mexican food places around. I could definitely get used to this. I’m not sure that any of them compare to Café del Rio in Lufkin, Texas, but they are getting close.

4) Finding a church and community is not as easy as I thought it would be, but God has begun to provide and it is awesome. I have basically nailed down a church home here at First Baptist Midland. I wrote a couple of weeks ago about a man, Dennis Perry, who I met early on. He has been a true blessing in my life thus far, especially outside of the church by inviting me to a Bible Study at his home with other young 20-somethings. I have begun to find friends and some brothers to invest my life in. First Baptist is a great church who is known for their missions and giving all across the state (mostly because of the wealth due to oil). I am looking forward to getting involved in community and service through this local body of believers. Sure, it is not a perfect church by any means, but I know that God is present and that there are genuine believers present.

5) I truly am enjoying (most days) being a Petroleum Engineer. I have found pleasure and joy in my work, even when I see how fleeting it is, in and of itself. I know ultimately that God is using this career move for His glory and my sanctification, so I can find purpose in the toil. I am beginning to understand what it is that I actually do (I get more questions about what it is that I actually do on a day-to-day basis, and up to this point I have not been able to give a good explanation).  I am beginning to understand what is actually going on and how things get done around the oil field. I am beginning to settle in to being a young professional engineer. God has given this sense of purpose and mission, because if I am being honest I find most of life very vain, especially work.

6) I am extremely selfish. This has always been true, and if you are being honest you are too; we all have a bent to hoard, protect our own and not give up of ourselves. It is nothing new; I have just finally seen it playing out in my life. As a single man with no real outside obligations other than work, it is extremely easy to be completely selfish with my time, money, talents, etc. I have never been more generous with money and yet so selfish at the same time. I have never been so selfish with what little time that I have. I have never been so aware of how arrogant, selfish and broken I am as I have the past few days. I find myself thinking all the time about what I could purchase, what I want to do with my money, and how I want to save or make money. I am praying that God would take the words ‘my’, ‘mine’ and ‘me’ out of my vocabulary. I am so self-centered nowadays and desire sanctification in this area. I want to see everything that I have as God’s, to be used for His Kingdom and not mine. I know that this is true, but I have not been living like it. I can see what Jesus meant when He said, “it is hard for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.” Riches cloud my mind, my apartment and my hearts desires and leave no room for God to inhabit.

I have a great brother and friend who is also blogging these days. He wrote an exceptional word the other day about the meaninglessness of words vs. taking action. Ultimately, these words mean nothing until I allow God to refine by His grace in this area and many more by action. I desire action and not passivity. I desire to continue moving forward down this dirt road of sanctification, albeit at a slow pace it seems sometimes.

7) The momentum and freshness is slowing down and wearing off. Midland and Chevron are both fairly new still, but are beginning to become the norm. I can honestly say that for the first 2+ months here I sought after God hard and relied heavily on Him. However, these past few weeks have been a backtrack in my walk. I have found myself more self-reliant and capable, which has allowed pride to sneak in to my heart. I do not feel the need for God as I once did. I do not have the passion for His Word as I once did. I do not have the discipline as I once did.

I am thankful that God has made me aware of these things, but I desire to know Him more than I do right now. I want more intimacy, more closeness, and more passion for Him than I have ever had. I sat in church this morning feeling completely empty, when on the outside life is going better than it has ever been. I want the opposite to be true. I want to be completely filled with God even when nothing is going right. I want to be completely satisfied and content even when the world is caving in around me. I pray that this would be a reality in my life, God! Sanctify me in Your truth, Your Word is truth!