Monday, October 24, 2011

This Present Calling

I was asked recently when I first felt called to missions. That question was a little complicated to answer for me.

There is a running joke in my family that when I am asked when I learned something that I will answer, “I’ve always known that!” Now, I do not earnestly believe that this statement is true, but in some sense it correctly portrays how I feel. When I learn something easily it is because I have had some sense that it was true even before it was ever explained to me. The best books and teachers are ones that more eloquently express what it is that I know deep within me. Those are the things that resonate with me. I learn best when I learn something that I have either seen to be true or have a sense that it is true even without seeing it. It sounds arrogant that I have always known something but sometimes that’s the best way for me to describe how I feel about a truth.

In response to the question about missions, I instinctively answered that I have always felt called to missions.

Now, this statement is not true at all, but it is hard to remember a time when I did not feel that way. I know that in reality this change came sometime during college for me when God changed my heart to love Him above all else. It happened when I first began to earnestly seek God through His Word. It is hard to remember a time when I did not desire to be sent with the gospel as my nametag and identity.

Our conversation went on to delve into the realities of missions and the gospel. If you have not picked up on it yet, I am somewhat idealistic about many things, including missions. In my arrogance I tend to idealize missions and the call to bring the gospel to those opposed to it. We got to talking about the need to be obedient in the present situation before God will call us to be obedient in a future situation. To be effective in another culture, we must first be effective in our own culture and life situation. If we want to be missionaries to the ends of the earth, we must first be missionaries at the beginning of the earth. Being a missionary is not a future endeavor, but a present calling no matter the circumstances. The words that were spoken to me were cutting and convicting, even invoking a little bit of anger. I did not want to admit that I was wrong, which is hard for me. I did not want to be teachable in that moment to the Spirit’s conviction. I wanted to rest in my arrogant notions about my effectiveness, talents and gifts. I wanted to stay convinced that hopping on a plane and changing my circumstances would change my heart. I wanted to not listen, but that was not even allowed in the moment.

That short little conversation stirred much thought in my mind and burden in my heart.

I was challenged to consider the missionary call on my present reality. If I continually am looking to a future situation to satisfy me, then I will not be obedient in the present day. If my focus is always on what may come to be, then I will not be effective or relevant in my current reality. I so desire the gospel to go the ends of the earth, but find it hard to see that happening through me even in Midland, Texas. I began to realize that the gospel must penetrate my heart first before it will ever penetrate those around me. I am praying that for my own life and for those around me, that the gospel would penetrate our hearts and bring us to our knees in dependence on Christ Jesus. I am praying that God would stir our hearts with a passion for His name and for the glorification of Christ in the gospel.

“The Lord conquered my unbelief, and I surrendered myself to God for this service. I told Him that all the responsibility as to issues and consequences must rest with Him; that as His servant, it was mine to obey and follow Him—His, to direct, to care for, and to guide me and those who might labor with me. Need I say that peace at once flowed into my burdened heart?” – J. Hudson Taylor

‘I believe we are all in danger of accumulating—it may be from thoughtlessness, or from pressure of occupation—things which would be useful to others, while not needed by ourselves, and the retention of which entails loss of blessing. If the whole resources of the Church of God were well utilized, how much more might be accomplished! How many poor might be fed and naked clothed, and to how many of those as yet unreached the Gospel might be carried!” – J. Hudson Taylor

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