The Vinedresser

Well it has been a while since I have been able to sit down and write. My life has been blowing and going like crazy recently. I have traveled almost 3,000 miles in the past two weeks and am starting to feel it. I have not been eating well. I have spent too much money. I have no semblance of a routine in my sleep schedule, work schedule or life schedule. I have not consistently been in the Word. I have not cleaned my apartment, taken a shower, done laundry or done dishes in the past 3 months. (One of these is a lie, guess.)

Even though I have been going, going, going, I have enjoyed the people that I have been able to see; friends from high school, great friends from college, family, and many other great friends. I have gotten to hang with some great people here in Midland as well. I am beginning to make a life here. Kind of.

In the past two weeks I have experienced great highs (beautiful wedding, productive days at work, growing friendships) but have also experienced some deep lows. I got word this past weekend that Mallory Brandenburg’s mom died after a long battle with cancer. Sheri was basically my second mom for five years while Mal and I were dating, so it was a tough blow to take. The outpouring of love shown at the funeral by the community was impressive. Sheri was a loved woman who will be greatly missed. I was so encouraged to see Mal and others trusting God even through these tough times.

‘Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the times to come. Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but the woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.’ –Proverbs 31:25, 30

Our pastor has been talking about trials over the past month or so. When trials come we either choose an endless cycle of self or a dirt path towards trusting God. The cycle of self usually starts with thinking that we deserve something different than what we have been given, whether that is respect, love, stuff or circumstances. We then allow bitterness and unrepentance to grow in our hearts, which leads us back to thinking we deserve more, and the cycle continues.

The path towards trusting God begins with a prayer for wisdom (James 1:2-8). Wisdom is having perspective and right understanding of the world. Wisdom leads to dying to self (Galatians 2:20). Once we have given up our rights, then we are free to pursue Christ. However, pursing Christ always leads to times of waiting and trusting. Others have called these times ‘The valley of the shadow of death’, ‘Dark night of the soul’ or ‘Winter time’. God uses these times of ‘dryness’ and ‘darkness’ to grow, change, and prune us.

Our pastor used John 15 to give the analogy of the vinedresser. In a vineyard, winter is the most important time in the life of the vines. The vinedresser uses that time to prune off the dead parts of the vine and also to weave the branches that have grown far out from the main vine back into the main vine. If he leaves the dead parts, the vine will not grow the quantity or quality of fruit that the vinedresser desires. Also, if the branch stays away from the main vine, he will not be able to bear the weight of the fruit that he produces nor will he continue to be a part of the life that the main vine gives.

I hope you see the parallels between the vinedresser and God, the main vine and God, the branches and us and winter time as a vital part to the production of the vine. God desires that we bear fruit and will do whatever it takes to make that happen.

Ultimately, trials come into our lives to build a firm foundation of faith and trust in God. Faith is believing that God is here and everything is from His hand. Trials are not meant to wear us down, but to give us hope that God is in control.

I know that I needed to hear that and ultimately need to trust that God is fully active in every part of my life. I hope this encourages you.

All I want

I almost started writing about the struggle and fight that the past few days have been, but I stopped. I have too much to be thankful for to whine on a blog post. Here are just a few.

I was able to travel to Mississippi for the wedding of a true brother in Christ this past weekend. It was a blessing to be around my parents, his family, and to see the reward of many years of friendship with Josh Weaver! It was incredible to see his growth and his willingness to follow God recklessly with his life. Josh is younger than I am and thus I had always assumed somewhat of a mentor role with him, but it has been him in the recent years that he has taught me more about what it means to follow Jesus than I have ever taught him. For that, I am thankful.

God has given me the ability to use my mind, as some people never get to. Recently I have not seen this as a blessing but more a curse. I think excessively much and cannot seem to get past my thoughts sometimes. I have just wanted to get lost in something far beyond myself and forget about all the rabbit trails and epic journeys that my mind travels constantly. However, truthfully, I am choosing to be thankful for this.

God has been abundantly gracious to me. I do not deserve the things that I have or the chances that I have been given. I know that His grace and kindness towards me are meant to lead me to repentance, which is actively turning from sin, seeking to know Him more and opening my mouth to talk about Him often. For this, I am thankful.

I have been real down on myself today and just cannot seem to think anything beyond the negative. I have been beating myself up over silly things. I have not been seeking to know God and spend time in His Word over the past few days and weeks, as I desire to. I have settled for mediocrity and I have been content with where I am. However, today I have been realizing that I do not like where I am physically, spiritually, emotionally, socially, etc. How quickly I can get away from pursuing Him. Prone to wander, Lord I feel it.

This is what I have learned.

My attitude and perspective about life is in direct relationship with my nearness to God. When I am far from God, I tend to want too much. I begin to think that I deserve more than what I am not getting. I react in negative ways that push me further from God. When I am near to God, I see how small I am. I desire nothing but His will, and by His Grace, I act in ways that push me closer to Him. It is funny how that works.

Have you stopped to consider where you are? Are you content? Have you stopped (turned off phone, computer, facebook, music, gotten away from the crowd) and sought to know God? Are you being honest about where you are? Do you ache for something so much more, but just cannot ever put your finger on what it is you want? Are there longings deep within that seem to never be filled?

Run to Jesus and His Word. I am finding that He is all that I have and all that I want.

Giving

“You shall remember that you were a slave in the land of Egypt, and the LORD your God redeemed you; therefore, I command you this today.” Deuteronomy 15:15

God could have said anything before or after this that He wanted. God’s commands come out of His miraculously working in the lives of the Israelites. God redeemed them. God saved them from slavery. God brought them from certain death and misery to life. God took what was broken and made it right. God restored what was shattered back to what once was perfect.

In particular, God is commanding His people to be a generous people. He commands them to give freely. He commands them to live within their means and not try to find their worth in how much they can accumulate. He commands them to be wise, but extravagant with their monies.

“You shall give to him freely, and your heart shall not be grudging when you give to him, because for this the LORD your God will bless you in all your work and in all that you undertake. For there will never cease to be poor in the land. Therefore I command you, ‘You shall open wide your hand to your brother, to the needy and to the poor, in your land.’” Deuteronomy 15:10-11

God desires not the actions but the heart of a man. God knows that if He gets the heart of a man, his outward will follow suit. God desires that our hands be wide open to the needy, the brothers, and the poor in the land.

I thought it was interesting that God basically said, ‘You can give all you want, but the poor will always be with you. No matter how much you give, there will still be poor people.’ For some this would be reason to not give. For some this would be an excuse. ‘We’ll never fix this problem. This is too big for us to even make a dent in, so what’s the point in giving?’ However, God defies logic. He says that because there will never cease to be poor, OPEN WIDE your hand and give lavishly. Give big and give often and see how I will bless your work, even though you will not change the situation! That is backwards to what we think.

Praise God that God is God!

And the same it is with Grace. God could have looked at us and said, ‘Sin will always remain with these people, no matter how much I give. No matter how much grace and mercy I give, they will continue to reject me, so what’s the point of even giving.’

Praise God that He continually chooses to grant grace and mercy even though sin will remain in the land. Praise God that He chose to Love extravagantly and give sacrificially even when it was not deserved on the other end. This is the Gospel. Not that we deserved anything, but that God Loves.

Father, take our eyes off of ourselves and put them on You!

Baptism

To update you a little bit, I am beginning to seek out another church, body of believers, to be apart of. FBC Midland is a solid church, but I was not getting connected to the people there. My main connection to the church, Dennis Perry, is no longer on staff at the church due to some unfortunate circumstances with church politics. Being the son of a pastor, I have seen the good and bad of ‘church people’ over the years and the pettiness of people exists in all places. Dennis’ leaving is not the only reason I am leaving, but a catalyst for the move. I have made my way back to Stonegate Fellowship, which is a place that I feel I can become connected to the people there. The church is also aligned well with what I believe Scripture teaches.

This morning at Stonegate they had what they call their ‘Element’ service. This service consists of the basic elements of the faith; community, worship through song, prayer, reflection, communion and baptism.

I enjoyed the patience of the service. It was not a rush to try to get everything done, but instead time was given to allow for personal and corporate reflection. I think this is especially important when taking communion, considering the warnings given in Scripture concerning flippantly approaching these sacred gatherings. Repeatedly Scripture stresses the importance of examining the heart and motives before entering the house of God. This finds its roots in the Old Testament of being clean (physically, spiritually, etc.) before entering the Tabernacle or other places of worship. I was thankful that time was given to consider the weight of what communion stands for; remembering the perfect, costly sacrifice of Jesus’ blood, remembering God’s Grace, and worshiping Him because of His great love.

We also celebrated the baptism of about 15 new believers. Stonegate does not have a typical baptistery, so they brought in a portable pool type thing. The pastor spent time describing the significance and meaning of baptism.

Jesus was filled with the Holy Spirit after being baptized.

Baptism symbolizes being washed clean from sin, as Christ’s blood has done to us.

Baptism symbolizes the old passing away, and the new coming.

Baptism also has implications of putting to death sin and putting on the new life in Christ.

Baptism is identifying oneself with Christ and His death.

Baptism is publicly proclaiming Jesus as Lord and Savior of your life.

For early believers, and believers today, baptism meant suffering or a death sentence.

I found myself deeply moved watching many adults publicly professing Jesus’ as Lord of their life. I could not help but think about those in other countries who have secretly done this under the cover of night, or used a simple dug out hole in the ground, or have been excommunicated from their families for identifying themselves with Jesus Christ through baptism. I could not help but be moved by the family and friends that stood around the pool with joy on their faces. What a sweetness to see family members and deep friends come to know Jesus like we know Him! It was a sweet Sunday to be apart of. I am finding myself more and more thankful when baptisms take place.