Purity

The thoughts and words written here are taken here explicitly from Disciplines of a Godly Man by R. Kent Hughes. He wrote a beautiful chapter on purity, and I thought it needed to be shared. It applies more to men, but women can take something from this as well, I hope. I took quotes from the chapter and inserted some of my own thoughts to season it up a little bit. Hope you are challenged and encouraged.

We live in a culture that sweats sensuality from its pores. In 1988, Leadership Magazine and Christianity Today polled their readers (likely college-educated church leaders, elders, deacons, Sunday school teachers and directors) and found that 1 of 8 pastors had committed adultery while in the ministry and 1 of 4 non-ministers had committed adultery. I can only imagine what the number is today some 22 years later.

Sensuality is one of the biggest obstacles to godliness in our day (and throughout all of history). David was a man after God’s own heart and was the mighty hero-leader of God’s people, but found himself far from the heart of God for a time in his life. If you do not know the story of David and Bathsheba, check out 2 Samuel 11. Hughes points out a few steps that led to his fall.

Desensitization – David had taken many wives, which was a sin against the commands of God in Deuteronomy 17. David had allowed a progressive desensitization to sin and a consequent inner descent from holiness take root in his life. David’s collection of wives, though it was ‘legal’ and not considered adultery in the culture of the day, was nevertheless sin. King David’s sensual indulgence desensitized him to God’s holy call in his life, as well as to the danger and consequences of falling. David’s embrace of socially permitted sensuality desensitized him to God’s call and made him easy prey for the fatal sin of his life. Men it is the ‘legal’ sensualities, the culturally acceptable indulgences, which will take us down. The long hours of indiscriminate TV watching and the expected male talk filled with double entendre and course humor are lurking culprits of desensitization.

Relaxation – David had taken relaxation from the rigors and discipline which had been apart of his active life. He was at midlife and had military prowess checked off the list. His relaxation extended to his moral life and left him vulnerable. Men, when we do not have a mission or explicit purpose to our lives (and our individual days) then we fall prey to the enemy’s schemes. Just when we think we are the safest, when we feel no need to keep our guard up, to work on our inner integrity, to discipline ourselves for godliness—temptation will come!

Fixation – David found himself in tough spot on the roof of the palace – catching a glance of a beautiful woman bathing. But his glance did not stay a glance, and he allowed himself to linger. He should have retired to his chamber, but he did not. Dietrich Bonhoeffer made the observation that when lust takes control, “At this moment God…loses all reality. …Satan does not fill us with hatred of God, but with forgetfulness of God.” David had allowed God to fade from the bright hues he once saw him in to a blurred image of an old sepia photograph.

Rationalization – When David had taken the next step to wards adultery, one of his servants tried to dissuade him, but David would not be rebuffed. Some massive rationalization took place in David’s mind. The mind controlled by lust has an infinite capacity for rationalization.

Degeneration (Adultery, Lies, Murder) – David’s progressive desensitization, relaxation, fixation, and rationalization set him up for one of the greatest falls in history—and his degeneration. One night led to birth of a child out of wedlock, lies to cover this up, deception, murder and subsequent consequences for generations. Men, we must understand that David would never have given more than a fleeting glance to Bathsheba if he could have seen the shattering results. I believe with all my heart that few, if any, would ever stray from God’s Word if they could see what would follow. The will of God for our lives is purity. Why?

“Be holy because I, the LORD your God, am holy”     - Leviticus 19:2

The Biblical command on our lives for purity, holiness and righteousness is explicit, necessary, and for our good. Some beautiful Scriptures that deal with this are: 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8, Job 31:1, Proverbs 6:27, Mark 9:42, Ephesians 5:3-7 and 2 Timothy 2:22.

Hughes offers a number of ways to ‘train yourself to be Godly’ (1 Timothy 4:7) and to put out some ‘holy sweat.’ Accountability with other men who understand your sensuality from the inside out, whom you can be completely honest with, and with whom you can be sharpened by. Prayer for the purity of your friends as well as enlisting them to pray for you. Memorization of God’s Word – The psalmist said, “How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word” (119:9). And, “I have hidden Your Word in my heart that I might not sin against You” (119:11). The discipline of the mind is important. Men, it is impossible for you to maintain a pure mind if you are television-watching ‘couch potato.’ Hughes also encourages placing hedges in your life to protect against temptations and attacks.

Hughes ends the chapter by exampling Joseph and Potiphar’s wife. When tempted with her, Joseph was divinely aware of the presence of God. “How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?” –and he fled.

“Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart” (2 Timothy 2:22)

In order not to become part of the negative statistics, and more importantly to honor and please our Father by obedience to His word, will we seek holiness in the area of purity? Will we be willing to put out some disciplined sweat? Are we men enough? Are we men of God?

Waiting

In buying decorations for my apartment, I wanted to have many scriptures on the wall. I bought this beautiful painting of an old dock extending into a smooth-as-glass lake surrounded by some mountains at sunset. The following scripture is inscribed at the top.

“Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for Him.”         - Psalm 37:7

There is a lot of Christian mumbo jumbo that is tossed around out there. Some of these phrases are sprinkled into conversation like Hanny puts salt on chips at Café Del Rio. However, when I really listen to fellow believers talk, I wonder if we really know what we are talking about. One phrase in particular that I have often wondered about is ‘waiting on the Lord’ or ‘resting in the Lord’. I guess in principle I understand what it means, but it has just come up so much recently in my life that I want to know what I mean when I say that.

Even the most casual reader of the Bible has most likely come across this phrase. David and other psalmists refer to waiting on the Lord, or being patient, or entering His rest or being still and waiting. James talks about it in the New Testament as well as Paul. God created a specific day just for resting and waiting on the Lord called the Sabbath, which has little significance in most Christians’ lives today including mine but was the most important day of the week to the Jews and Hebrews. So what is waiting on the Lord? I am not so much writing this to explain this truth, but more to have a chance to study God’s Word and seek wisdom from Him.

This past year I spent about 6 consecutive months reading five chapters from Psalms and one chapter from Proverbs every day, which allowed me to read through the entire books once a month. I was at a time in my life where I was seeking comfort, peace, and wisdom from God. I gravitated to these books because of the wisdom, but also because of the character of David; a man after God’s own heart. Now, truthfully David was as jacked up as the rest of us, if not more. He had many triumphs on the battlefield and in the mind, but also had as many dark valleys and struggles. In the Psalms, he goes from praising the faithfulness and majesty of God in one chapter to outright questioning God asking, “Why have you forsaken me?” I think that is why I love to read the Psalms. I see those quick changes of heart in myself as well. I go from unshakeable to shaken without even realizing it. David reiterated many phrases and words throughout the Psalms and one of those is waiting on the Lord. (Ps. 9:9-10, 25:5, 25:21, 27:14, 31:24, 33:20-22, 37:7, 40:1, 62:1-2, 62:5-8 – these are just a sampling of the ones that I have underlined in my Bible)

What exactly does waiting encompass? What exactly am I supposed to be waiting for? How long do we wait, before we act? What is God’s purpose is making us wait?

Waiting is teaching us that God is ultimately moving and acting for His names sake, not ours. (Psalms 25:11, 79:9) If I truly understood this, then waiting on God would not feel so burdensome. The true Christian also knows that he is utterly helpless and desperately needs God to act, because anything he does without God will fail.

Waiting is teaching us perseverance and discipline. (James 1:2-3, Romans 5:3-5) Waiting happens over a period, and thus has a sense of perseverance and discipline in it. Waiting on the Lord involves patience and trust. People, who wait and rest well, have the right perspective and heart. They know that God, our great Father, is working and moving even when we do not see or feel Him.

Waiting is teaching us that we are small and He is big.

Waiting is not being idle. Waiting has a sense of seeking in it and these two ideas are often paralleled in David’s Psalms. Waiting is not inactivity, but a change in activities. Waiting involves much laboring in prayer and daily laying down our requests before Him. God seems to desire that we learn to submit control completely.

Waiting does not involve anxiety or worry. Waiting encompasses all that it is to trust, just as the birds trust in God for their daily food. Waiting is teaching us to trust in God through the good and the bad.

In many ways, the entire Christian life is waiting; waiting for our Savior to come back for us. The true Christian realizes that this world is not our home, because we are not in a perfect, redeemed relationship with our God as we will be in heaven. (John 17:3) Therefore, we wait with eager expectation for the day that He returns and redeems those whom He loves. Not only should we wait for the big things, but also for the daily bread and aching desires of our hearts.

Waiting is hard for me, especially in our day of instant gratification. I confess I do not know what true perseverance is. I confess that my heart is easily turned away from God, when I feel that He has forgotten me or is not listening. I confess that I quickly abandon Him when I do not understand His purposes instantly. I confess that I really do not like waiting on Him to move. I confess that I like to have control over my situation, and waiting forces me release that false sense of control that I have. I confess that I grow impatient and do not trust God. I confess that I often move without waiting on God.

Father, help me to learn to wait on you as I am strengthened in your Word. Father, help to not move until I know that Your presence is where I’m going. Father, teach me to wait and rest in You.

“And He [God speaking to Moses] said, ‘My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.’ And he [Moses] said to Him [God], ‘If your presence will not go with me, do not bring us up from here.’”          - Exodus 33:14-15

Simplicity

I have been enamored with thoughts about our purpose, specifically mine. I have been consumed with thoughts about what God has for me in the here and now and in the future. I have wondered many days about whether what I am doing is what God desires. I have spent many hours thinking and praying about career, real-life, plans, direction and guidance. Yet how often do I complicate my thoughts and the tendencies of my heart with these hypothetical scenarios and misplaced worries? In this complication, have I missed the simplicity of the gospel?

I have deep within me those same longings that you do for the beautiful world around us. I have had that same emptiness that you have. How often have I filled my life with activities, goals, worldly possessions and other junk? I have experienced enough life (yet nowhere near what most of you have nor what Solomon did) to know that these things I try to fill that emptiness are only a temporary fix. In this filling, have I crowded out the necessities of the Christian life?

I have been reading Knowing God by J.I. Packer and he presents some thoughts on the simplicity of our purpose.

“Once you become aware that the main business that you are here for is to know God, most of life’s problems fall into place of their own accord.

            What makes life worthwhile is having a big enough objective; something, which catches our imagination and lays hold of our allegiance; and this the Christian has in a way that no other person has. For what higher, more exalted, and more compelling goal can there be than to know God?”

I have often felt that a job or career will never be enough for me. I guess I do not want to come to the end of my short life only to look back and see that my life has been about nothing more than surviving, in essence. I want some epic cause or noble purpose to lose myself in, not a safe, comfortable job. I want to go to Africa and start an oil company to give away all of the profits for gospel-centered humanitarian aid. I want to quit my job and head to a remote jungle to tell an unreached people group about our God who has come to save us. I want to go to seminary to become a pastor or a church planter. I want to forsake all worldly purposes to get lost in the big purpose that is spreading the fame of our great God.

God, through Packer’s writings and His Word, has awoken my heart to the fact that there is no higher, or compelling goal than to know God and make Him known. Ultimately, no matter the course of life that I find myself on, my purpose remains the same. Knowing God and making Him known. That simple, yet large purpose needs all the room my heart can muster. I want to stand at the end of my life and be able to say that I have known God.

Packer continues to sketch out simply what it looks like to know God and for Him to know me.

“What, then, does the activity of knowing God involve? Holding together the various elements involved in this relationship, as we have sketched it out, we must say that knowing God involves, first, listening to God’s Word and receiving it as the Holy Spirit interprets it, in application to oneself; second, noting God’s nature and character, as His Word and works reveal it; third, accepting his invitations and doing what He commands; fourth, recognizing and rejoicing in the love that He has shown in thus approaching you and drawing you into this diving fellowship.

            There is, certainly, great cause for humility in the thought that He sees all the twisted things about me that my fellow humans do not see (and I am glad!), and that He sees more corruption in me than that which I see in myself (which, in all conscience, is enough). There is, however, equally great incentive to worship and love God in the thought that, for some unfathomable reason, he wants me as His friend, and desires to be my friend, and has given His Son to die for me in order to realize this purpose.”

Will I give everything I have for this? Will I have the discipline to train myself for godliness (1 Tim. 4:7)? Will I allow the grace of God to train me in righteousness and holiness (Titus 2:11-14)? Will I draw near daily, yea hourly, to this Majestic and Holy God (James 4:8)? Will I be transformed by the renewing of my mind (Romans 12:1)? Will I remove the snares of sin and run with endurance (Hebrews 12:1-2)?

It’s pretty simple. Let’s don’t complicate this.

Forgetfulness

“In the day of prosperity be joyful, and in the day of adversity consider: God has made the one as well as the other, so that man may not find out anything that will be after him.”    -  Ecclesiastes 7:14

This verse has been underlined in my Bible for quite a while; however, I am seeing it play out more and more in my life currently.

I know that working out in the oilfield is an incredible opportunity for my career and life. I know that I am truly blessed to have a job and to have a good job at that. I know that I should be extremely thankful and joyful that I get to live in Midland, Texas. I know in my head that God has placed me here for His purposes and my refinement, sanctification and good. I know that God is our great Father and does not give bad gifts as promised in His Word. (James 1:17, Luke 11:11-13, etc.) I know that He has ordained each and every situation that I encounter.

But for some reason today, I found myself pouting about life and where I’m at. “if only I was still in College Station…if only I still had this or that relationship…if only I had more friends here…if only I could advance about 6 months, or 2 years, or 5 years or 10 years…if only I would not have done this or that…if only this was easier or better”

I knew coming out here would not be easy or always enjoyable. I knew that it would be a difficult transition from bountiful, solid community to almost non-existent community. I knew that life would not be the same as it had been. I knew that living alone in a new place would have its challenges.

But I had forgotten those truths of Scripture and allowed Satan to creep in and lie to me. “you’re such a failure…you are not going to be any good at this…you’ll never find friends or a wife…you’ll never get this down pat…you’ll never be good enough”

How short-sighted am I? How short is my memory? How deaf do I get to the truth in Scripture? How fast is my heart emptied of passion? The answer to all of these questions is VERY.

How quickly I forget the truth of Scripture in the midst of a small adversity. Solomon reminds us in the verse that our God made this day, and planned out what would go on. He reminds us that He not only made days for prosperity but also days for adversity to remind us of how small and wretched we are without Him, our Majestic and Creative God!

All through Ecclesiastes, Solomon concludes that there is nothing more to this life than to fear God, keep His commandments, and have joy. How often he commends joy in all circumstances.

“Behold, what I have found to be good and fitting is to eat and drink and find enjoyment in all the toil with which one toils under the sun the few days of his life that God has given him, for this is his lot. Everyone also to whom God has given wealth and possessions and power to enjoy them, and to accept his lot and rejoice in his toil—this is the gift of God. For he will not much remember the days of his life because God keeps him occupied with joy in his heart.”     - Ecclesiastes 5:16-20

It is cool to think that this person found enjoyment and satisfaction in God, and not his stuff or circumstances. It did not matter to him what went on in his life or how much he had, because he was occupied with joy in his heart, undoubtedly given from God. I am praying right now to be occupied with joy in my heart, especially when I am not feeling it, like right now.

God I pray for peace that surpasses all understanding. I pray for an unwavering devotion to You to be built up in this time of life. Be my everything!

Domestication

This weekend my lovely parents came all the way to Midland to help me ‘become domesticated’, whether they knew it or not. The house that I lived in for three years in college was, well let us just call it rather modest. In reality it was old and worn out, so we did not take the time to fix it up real nice or put nice things in it. Consequently, I only had a small bed, a ‘Ray Smith Special’ desk, a few hand-me-down couches that were either half-broken or smelled bad, my growing collection of books, some basic kitchen stuff, and clothes. I had a long ways to go towards being ‘domesticated’ in any sense of the word.

So, Mom and Dad helped me pick out furniture and decorations for my apartment this weekend. I wish you could have been a fly on the wall of not only the three of us, but also the three of our minds the past couple of days. I will try to portray each member separately and then give you a glimpse into the interactions of all three of us.

Mom – Mom wants nothing more than for me to have a nice, homey apartment. Mom gets no greater joy than to get to spend money, especially when it is not hers. By no means is mom extravagant or over-the-top in her purchases, but she does not mind spending money on things, which she feels is necessary or would ‘complete the room’. Mom could shop all day and does not mind ‘just looking’. Mom really just wants the apartment to look presentable for when people come over and for me to feel at home.

Dad – Dad is as tight as they come, so he values function over fashion. Dad knows that there are things that I need, such as a table and chairs, towels, a couch and chair, etc., but still cringes on the inside anytime money has to be spent. This is not all bad; in fact, it is a truly desirable quality for the most part. Dad has a ‘shopping timer’ and begins to shut down once his timer goes off. (This is very similar to my theory of word-count, if you have ever heard me describe that. If not, I will detail it here soon.) Dad does not understand spending money on things such as 18 decorative pillows of all shapes and sizes for my bed, vases filled with fake dead reeds, or random knick-knacks. Dad needs a purpose for entering every store and thus does not like browsing or 'just looking' around. Dad is the epitome of efficiency in motion.

Me – I love rugs, and beautiful paintings with scripture on them, and fall-asleep comfortable couches, books, sharp knives, heavenly chaises, wooden Africa art, nice towels, and very few other things. I do not love random flower arrangements, knick-knacks, certain colors like puke-blue, and a few other things. I do not have many opinions, nor do I have a style; so all you sells representatives, quit asking. I mostly just want a comfortable bed, a comfortable couch and a comfortable chair to read a challenging, but refreshing book. Very few other things do I consider necessary or even wanted.

An aside: I have some strong convictions about money and how it should be used. I desire to be a good steward of what God has given me, so I question every purchase and ask whether it could be spent better elsewhere (missions, food, homeless, etc.). Needless to say, it was hard for me to spend money on some of these things. I had to convince myself that if I buy quality things now, then I would not have to spend money on myself like this in a very long time. (Thanks, Mark Zobeck!) Also, God created us to enjoy Him and His creation. Yes, these things are passing away and will burn. I also had to keep checking my heart, and will continue to have to, to see if I feel like I need these things. (Thanks, Austin Johnson!) So, I’m holding loosely everything in my hands, because it is a gift and blessing from God. If God wants to take them away to bring me closer to Him, He has every right to and I’ll praise Him. If He decides to let me keep them, I’ll use them for His glory and fame and not just my own. God has blessed us to be a blessing.

Taking an equal part of all three of these and throwing them together, you get a fun-filled weekend. God gave us a lot of grace, and we laughed a lot at each other to keep from being frustrated. Dad always says that  we show love in our family by making fun of each other and making tense situations lighter by joking around. Mom is even starting to catch on to this and will throw in a shot every now and then. This helps us keep a good perspective that everything is fading away and we are but grass, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire. This helps us to know that most things really do not matter all that much and should not be given the place of something ultimate.

All in all I found myself extremely thankful for what God has blessed me with; parents that love the Lord and have shown me what it looks like to love and serve.

God help me to be thankful when life is good and when it is difficult. Help me to be a blessing to others with the blessings that You have given me. Help me to hold loosely all things in my life and know that You, my Father, give good gifts.

Pine Cove and Pumpin' Units

Well, I had every intention of writing similar posts for the other 37 major things that I learned this summer, but honestly it’s just not going to happen. My personal time for this has dwindled as of today (more explanation later), so I will just give a brief overview of some of the many things that I learned this summer and am currently working on putting into practice. Paul exhorts the church at Philipi with these words to close his letter:

“Finally, brothers, whatever is pure, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.” - Philippians 4:8-9

It is not just enough to be aware of some truth or recognize something in your life that should be different; God desires obedience and repentance, not recognition and intellectual assent. Here is the short list of areas of obedience that I need to work on:

Motives for reading the Bible – I was challenged this summer to read the Bible to understand who God is and who He says that I am – not just for wisdom or knowledge or to impress. As with most things, in God’s eyes this is a heart issue. Does my heart care about what men think or what God thinks? (John 12:42-43)

Giving my life away – I think just about every Bible Study, message, or conversation focused around giving my life up completely for Him and His renown. God spoke to us through His word about taking up our cross daily, selling all our possessions and giving to the poor, dying daily to our desires and living for the gospel, suffering with joy for His praise, and giving our lives away for Him. Am I carrying the cross everyday as a reminder to me of who I once was, what Jesus did for me, and what my response should be to Him?


Faithfulness regardless of circumstances – NO MATTER WHAT – Our staff Bible study this summer focused on the book of 1 Peter. The theme that we focused on (and what Peter focused on) was suffering well in the wake of persecution. Peter wrote to remind his audience of who they are and to encourage them to be that and suffer well. Am I choosing to follow Jesus NO MATTER WHAT?

Stacking wood, not starting fires – It was somewhat frustrating at times not seeing many results in my cabins, not seeing life change in kids, or not having kids getting it. Matt Chandler used an illustration about how he and his wife are making disciples of their children. He said, “We can’t start the fire of salvation, only God can do that. All we can do is bring kindling around the center-post of their soul, and then stack more wood and more wood (in the form of Scripture, teachings, church, community, love, and prayer) and pray that one day God would light the bonfire of salvation in their hearts.” This was my attitude this summer; I cannot force salvation on anyone; I cannot bring life change; only God can save and change lives. All we are called to do is to share and live the gospel out in front of others and trust the results to God. Do I trust results to God?

Like I said, those are only a few areas that I became aware of in my own life where obedience and repentance is needed.

This morning I started a new little routine in my life. I am calling it – “Wake up at 5 so I can drive over an hour in the dark to New Mexico to make it to a seven o’clock safety meeting at the Dollarhide Field Office.” Mostly I’m doing this because it’s my job for the next 6 months, but also because I really love eating Cinnamon Apple Instant Oatmeal as I drive and listen to an old British man read Screwtape Letters by C. S. Lewis to me. It is quite thrilling. Feel free to tag along some time.

For the next 6 months, I am doing my Petroleum Engineer Field Training. This mostly consists of me hanging out with 50-year-old men and 50-year-old pumpin’ units in the wide-open spaces that are West Texas and Southeast New Mexico. I am mostly excited about the opportunity to learn and be exposed to field operations, but the downside of driving about 3 hours a day looms in my mind. The field guys are very enjoyable to be around, because they are real and raw. Most of them also don’t give a rip about Jesus, which will be a cool place for me to be in. I despised the Christian bubble that I was so entangled in at A&M (I know that there’s good in it too…) because I had very few non-Christian friends. I am thankful for a chance to be found somewhere else at this point in my life.

I’m not looking at this so much as an opportunity to win some ‘converts’ (as if I can do that by saying the right words or living the right way), but more as a testing grounds for my faith. I want to act and be the same I would be in any other situation. I want to learn to walk with God no matter where I find myself. I do want them to come to Jesus, so I am not going to shy away from declaring how God has saved me and how great He is just because they could care less. I know that I have been placed near Jal, New Mexico for a reason. Now that reason could be any number of things, but I’m not going to waste time wondering what that is or how it is going to turn out. For now, I’m just going to keep eating my oatmeal and praying that one day I can understand some C. S. Lewis books like every other young radical.

Pine Cove - Part 4

Living in intense, real community

Community is desperately needed and Biblically demanded. (Acts 2:42-47, Heb. 10:25, etc.) This summer I got the chance to do ministry with about 60 passionate followers of Jesus Christ from all over the country. One thing about the community formed at camp is that all relationships begin with the understanding that Christ and His Gospel are the center and purpose. This creates an immediate depth with others. As many of you have probably experienced, some of the people that are the hardest to be real and deep with are people with whom you have had a shallow relationship for years. It is easy to grow together at camp, because the reasons that you are together are the gospel and God’s call on your life.

At camp, you are together for weeks doing ministry with passionate followers of Jesus, not just nominal Christians. You are on mission with others. You are working together for one common purpose. You experience the highs and the lows; together. You walk through the hard days together. You rejoice together when you see breakthroughs in kid’s lives. You see the good and bad in just about everybody. All of which God uses to refine and sanctify.

It’s true that camp is not the real world. Camp is filled with Christians. Camp is a controlled environment. Most kids come to learn, grow, or be exposed, which is not like the real world where many not only reject but are hostile the Words of God. However, for a season of life, it is such a blessing to be surrounded by such tight community like that.

God used counselors that were different from me to refine me. It was for my sanctification that I was forced into relationships with people that did not think or act as I do. God knew whom he placed me with. It was to teach me, grow me, stretch me, and to rub off the rough edges.

Side Note: Nothing gets my heart more fired up than to see girls passionately worship, serve, and love our God. Nothing is more important in a wife to me than her love for our Savior. I want to meet my wife in the midst of ministry/on the field/in the battle, and I need community to do that. This summer I got the chance to serve alongside wonderful women of God, without relationship tension or thoughts of pursuit, because we knew what our purpose was. One day when I am ready to pursue, I know what a woman who passionately loves Jesus looks like, and I am thankful towards God for giving me a summer of intense community for that.

Pine Cove - Part 3

God’s unconditional love even in my disobedience

Every cabin had its own challenges, but I had a number of ‘difficult’ cabins this summer. One cabin in particular had a group of boys that were tons of fun, but very disobedient. They were extremely hyper and crazy, which made them one of my favorite cabins, but they were very hard to be patient with. I found myself at many points in the week very disappointed with them. I got frustrated at them because they did not listen to me or because they would blatantly disobey what I had just told them to do or not to do. I’m not sure that I ever lashed out at them that week, but in my heart many times I did not love them, let alone like them. In all honesty, I questioned why God would give me a group of guys that were that disobedient. It was not until they left that I began to fully understand one of the reasons that I had those boys.

Another counselor that same week had two campers that were probably the most difficult campers at The Ranch this whole summer. He stood up in our counselor share time on Saturday after they had left and shared about his week. He talked about his experience that week and how difficult it was to be patient and give grace to them. He then shared a story about how God revealed to him late in the week a truth that sunk into my heart as well. He began crying at lunch one day, because he began to see himself in those boys. He saw their intentional disobedience towards him as comparable to his disobedience and sinfulness to a holy and righteous God. It was in this time that he began to see how much our God loved us and how much grace and mercy that we have been given. Here is a quote from my journal the following week, which happened to be the most difficult cabin I had all summer.

08/04 – “Help me to show them unconditional love like Christ Jesus has showed me. How disobedient and rotten have I been to my Father in heaven? How sinful am I? How many times do I choose to rebel and dishonor by continuing in sin? How many times do I disobey the commands of my Father who loves me so much? How can I not show my guys love and give them grace? Teach me about You and Your gospel through this week of tough campers.”

Two major things. First, God used those campers, that counselor, and that previous week to prepare me for the toughest week of my life. He knew what I was going to go through that next week, and chose to prepare me by challenging me with difficult campers. He grew my patience and my ability to give grace and love, even when kids do not deserve it. Second, it was challenging and encouraging to me to see how that counselor chose to see every situation as from the hand of God. He was looking to see how God was working in and around Him. He did not pout or whine, but learned about the character and nature of God through his circumstances.

What about you? Do not ask why, but ask what. Do not question your circumstances or act as if God has forsaken you. Ask God what He is trying to teach you or grow in you through this situation. Choose to see situation as an opportunity to learn who God is and who He says that we are or should be. He is sovereign and above all of our circumstances. He has some great promises for those who love Him. (Jer. 29:11, Rom. 8:28, etc.) Do you love Him?

Pine Cove - Part 2

Finding identity solely in the gospel

This summer one of the focuses of our ministry was speaking identity into these 6^th and 7^th graders. We wanted them to know who God says that they are and to put off what the world tells them that they are. One interesting thing that myself and other counselors noticed was that we as counselors were learning more and getting more out of camp than almost all of the kids were. We were being paid to teach these kids lessons on identity and the great commission, when in fact we were the ones being grown and taught by the Spirit.

Identity was something that we preached to these kids all summer, but I think many of us college kids were asking the same questions that our Middle School kids were asking. Who am I? What am I here for? What do others think about me? Why have I been made this way? It was ironic that we were imploring our kids to find their identity solely in the gospel and what Jesus did for us on the cross, when in fact we were still wrestling with this challenge.

The truth that we spoke into these kids this summer was that their identity should not be founded in their circle of friends, their talents, or their family but solely in the gospel of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Ultimately it will not matter who our friends were, how cool our jeans were, how athletic or unathletic we were, or how smart we were, but who we are in the eyes of God. If we are sons and daughters of God, then we are His workmanship or masterpiece. (Eph. 2:10)

Identity is still something that I am learning about, even in Midland, Texas. I have gotten to see many grown men in the oil business infatuated with their stuff, their success in the industry, and their stature in society. These men, some even claiming to be Christians, are finding their identity in their things and not in who God says they are. Based on the Word of God (specifically Luke 12:15-21, Matt. 6:19-24, Matt. 28:16-20, etc.), our lives are to be about much more than filling our barns and building more barns with stuff. We, as God’s children, are to be about spreading His gospel. Our identity is not founded in who we are dating (or married to), our career, our success, our failures, our shortfalls, our beauty, or anything else. To quote the great Christian rapper Lecrae, “Our identity is found in the God we trust, any other identity will self destruct. Our identity is found in our godliness, any other identity will self destruct.”

The first week of camp, I was on work crew and had some personal time, unlike the rest of the summer. One morning in my journal, I asked God a question, then opened His word, and wrote down the answer to that question.

7/09 – “I ask You God, who am I? Redeemed child. Incomplete, but still a workmanship. A man of God chosen to do good works. Steward of the talents, time and possessions He’s given me. A servant of the Most High. A friend of the groom, excited to see His return. Small but not meaningless. Once in debt to my sins, but in right standing with the Judge. An heir of my Father, owning everything. Not a slave, but a son. Known by God. Was guilty and condemned, but now innocent and forgiven. Fruit bearer. God glorifier/exalter/praiser. Was a worker of evil, but now on the straight and narrow path.”

God’s Word is filled with Scripture describing who we are as Saints and who He is as King. All I did that morning was read a few chapters to write out those answers. I encourage you to dig into His Word to see who God says you are. Do not let culture try to define you. Do not find your identity in anything less than the cross of our Savior King Jesus Christ.

“But far be it from me to boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.”     - Galatians 6:14

“For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified.”           - 1 Cor. 2:2

Pine Cove - Part 1

Realizing my need for God in everything

Camp is a place that forces you to step out of everything that is comfortable and be stretched at all moments of the day. I found myself overwhelmed and underprepared multiple times every hour. I had to learn to rest in the promises that God has given us in His Word. Two that I relied on are found in Luke 12:11-12 and Matthew 6:33. Basically those verses promise us that God will be with us, will provide for us, and will give us the words to say, if we are being faithful to live out His gospel and seeking Him first in all things.

I lived for 6 weeks in constant need of God’s presence and if He had not provided, then I would have been lost. Coming home, and now being in Midland, I am not always aware of how much I need Jesus in everyday life. This is the case because I have a comfortable and easy life. I am not constantly in the stretch zone, where life is difficult and not always fun. However, having lived in the uncomfortable stretch zone for an extended period, I do not want to live my life in the comfortable zone. In the comfortable zone, my view of myself is too large and thus my view of God is far too small. I desire to see how small I am and how majestic and powerful our God is, which is found in the stretch zone; the place where I know that all things are truly founded in Him.

I want to risk my life, have adventure, do hard things and be stretched, because in those times I’ll need my Savior more than ever. In those times, He and I’ll grow closer than ever. I need a mission and a bigger purpose than just working a job and succeeding in the oil field. Here are some quotes from my journal over the summer that show how God was teaching me in the midst of it all.

7/17 – “I have seen how small and weak I am this week. I have seen how much I need a Savior. I have seen how much I need grace and mercy. I have seen how dependent I really am on Christ.”

08/01 – “I don’t know how to endure and persevere through this week. God I need You more than ever, or maybe I’m just aware of how much I need You. And now that I think about it, it’s not a bad thing at all. It’s completely freeing and right to be desperate for You with everything I have.”

08/19 – after camp – “I want to live my life in such a way that I feel a need for You at every moment of the day. I hate having it together and figured out. I desire to be poor and empty and to be filled and founded in You.”

My prayer is that I'd learn to live outside of myself in such a way that only God can get credit for what happens in my life. I want no glory nor credit. To God be all the glory and credit!

Pine Cove - Introduction

This summer I got the chance to work at Pine Cove Ranch Camp for 6 weeks. My entire college career I wanted to work at a camp, but chose to do some other things with my summers (youth internship, two oil internships). So, when I got my full time job offer in September to come work for Chevron I thought my chance to work at a camp was over, but Chevron let me tell them when I wanted to start work. This freed up my summer to apply for camps. I had a number of close friends that had worked at Pine Cove in Tyler, so I applied to work there not knowing fully what I was getting into.

The Sunday after I graduated from Texas A&M (Whoop!), I went for two weeks of training; ropes course and counselor training. I loved my two weeks at the Ranch living in community with about a hundred college kids. More than anything those two weeks got me excited to do ministry with 6^th and 7^th graders and prepared me (well, kinda) for what God was going to do in and through me.

I then went home for 5 weeks, while half of the Ranch staff stayed to do camp. I spent that time traversing back and forth across the southern part of our country. I got to do a whole lot including weddings, backpacking, kayaking, learning to knee board, camping, sipping coffee, reading, and hanging out. After all of that, I headed to camp not knowing what God had in store for me there. I was there for 6 weeks, had 5 cabins of 6^th and 7^th grade boys totaling 33 campers. I had a blast working the climbing wall and zip line everyday for 4 hours with 5 other amazing college kids. I learned as much from them and other counselors as I did from the kids themselves, not to mention the leadership. It was a beautiful summer filled with incredible highs and debilitating lows, but God was present in it all.

I am a slow processor, so I do not fully understand all that God did, but I do know some things that He taught me. I hope to describe these things here, but know that I will not be able to do it as well as I would like to. As I started writing these, I realized how long this would be. So instead of posting them all at once, I’ll post one them one at a time as I write them.