Just Thinking

Currently, I am fighting the first spat of loneliness that I have felt since being here in Midland. I have been running around like a crazy man since I started my job some 2 months ago. There have been times of relaxation and chilling out, but I have been very active and have not allowed myself to settle in. For some reason, this place still feels transient to me, even though I could be living here for the next 4 years. But today, I have finally slowed down. I am not going anywhere this weekend, nor do I have big plans like I have most of the time that I have been here. That’s partly why this has come on. Also, my time in the Word has suffered this week, and therefore I have suffered. I knew that rough times were coming and were inevitable, but I never seem to see them coming.

This week at work, I have been in Horizons training, which is the training program for new-hires at Chevron. We spent most of the week talking about who Chevron is, how we fit into the organization, and how to maximize our time with Chevron. Overall, it was the best training that I have had thus far. This was the first time that I was around 20-something year old new-hires and not 30-year veterans of the company. We spent a lot of time talking about career management, development as individuals, and adding value to the company. This training has got me thinking, so I am going to process some of it here.

Career of Moves – One major theme that was shared was that Chevron hires people for a career and not just a job. The company rewards longevity and perseverance. They are making an investment in people, and want us to return on that investment with a long, productive career making money for Chevron. One thing that I have become aware of is that I could have a ton of different jobs within Chevron in a ton of different locations all over the world. Chevron likes to move its people around to develop them into well-rounded people. At this point in my life, I know that this is where God wants me to be, but I really need to pray about if I really want to be moving my family (assuming I get to that stage) every 2 years and dragging them around the world. That’s going to take a trusting, loyal and patient wife to put up with me chasing the oil fields. Is it worth it? How could God use that? Is it something that I want?

Set for life – Needless to say, Chevron compensates its employees very well, especially if you stay with the company your whole career. A comment was made at one point that struck me. One of our upper managers said that we are set for life. We have every opportunity within Chevron to make tons of money, grow as a person, and be successful in other areas of life. By all measures, the path is clearly laid out to retire rich, fat, and comfortable. Is that what I want? Do I want the burden of having that much? Would this be the best way for me to glorify God? I know that God will use me no matter what, but is this my path?

Talent, Organization, Passions – One of the models discussed was the T.O.P. model. The point was to determine what your talents are (skill set), what your passions are (interests), and what the organization needs. Where all three of these match up in your job, then you are going to be very satisfied and useful. Another way of saying it is that the company has a need for you to do something that you are good at and enjoy doing. That really got me thinking. I have hated the question, “What are you passionate about?” my whole life. For some reason, I can never put into words the aching of my heart most of the time. I have begun to see some of my talents, skills, and potentials, but I am not fully certain as to what my passions/interests are. I know that whatever I put my mind to, I can find a way to accomplish it, and so the talent portion does not worry me. However, I could spend years doing something that I only do because I have the capability to do it. I want to do something that I am passionate about, whatever that means. I want to want to do what I do. I know that ultimately my life will be about spreading the gospel, wherever I find myself. I want to help people. I want to be on a mission. I want to do something epic with my life. I want to have a major impact. I want to be unknown though. I want to be a giver. I want to be radical.  Is Chevron a company that will allow me to align my passions and talents with their needs? What are my passions? Can I be in the oil industry and have the Kingdom impact that I want to?

Sorry if this is really scattered. I mostly just wanted to get this out of my head and onto paper. I also wanted to give you a glimpse into what’s going on. If you have any thoughts or ideas, please respond. I would love to hear some wisdom and understanding.

What is Salvation?

I was asked on a previous post by Anonymous, “What is salvation according to the Bible? How can one have assurance?” If you are the anonymous commenter, I would like to talk to you rather than just write you a response. My phone number is (936)465-7616, but since you probably will not call, I will do my best to answer those questions here.

I got to looking in the Bible to get references to quote and not just canned phrases that I have grown up on, and I found that I want to quote the whole New Testament. If you are questioning your salvation or wanting to be saved, I would commend actually reading the Bible and not just taking my word for it. Check out the Bereans (Acts 17:10-15). Read the Gospels; Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. Read Romans, but when you get confused and overwhelmed by that, read Ephesians and Galatians. Read Acts, which is the story of the Church proclaiming Jesus as the Christ immediately following the death and resurrection of Jesus. Jesus, if you do not know, is the central figure on which the whole Bible, all of Christianity, and salvation focuses. Read any part of the New Testament and you will be saturated with Scripture on salvation.

I will do my best to explain salvation here, but truly, you should allow the Holy Spirit and teachers much wiser than I to teach you through the Word of God. There are so many terms that need to be defined and expounded on with other Scripture that I would have to write a book to fully explain it. Some of these include grace, mercy, love, sin, hell, God, redemption, propitiation, repentance, and so many more. Since the Scriptures are already written (as well as numerous other great books), I will allow them and the Holy Spirit to expound on these truths.

What is salvation according to the Bible?

·         Salvation is a free gift from God. (Ephesians 2:8, Titus 3:4-7, Romans 6:23)

·         Salvation is the Great Exchange; we get Jesus’ righteousness and He takes on our sin; we get heaven and He takes on the judgment and wrath that we deserved because of our sin. (1 John 2:2)

·         Salvation is God redeeming His people back to Himself. (Colossians 1:14)

·         Salvation is about God’s people being restored back into a right relationship with God. Salvation is God coming to get us. Salvation is passing from death to life. (Colossians 1:13, 1 John 3:14)

·         Salvation is having a hope for eternity with God. Salvation is by grace through faith, not by works. (Ephesians 2:8-9)

·         Salvation is not earned, merited, or deserved, but is given to us by the mercy of God. (Romans 9:14-18, 2 Corinthians 4:4-6, Romans 3:28)

·         Salvation comes through believing that Jesus is the Christ, the promised Savior, that He lived a perfect life and fulfilled the Law that we could not, that He died on the cross for your sins, that He rose from the dead, beating sin and death, and that His perfect blood sacrifice pays the debt that you owed God because of your sin. (Romans 3:23, Acts 13:38-39, Acts 10:43, Romans 8:3-4)

·         Salvation is about repentance, turning from our wicked ways to God. (Acts 2:38-39)

How can one have assurance?

·         A changed heart, which amounts to changed behavior. However, changing your behavior in hopes of changing your heart is not Biblical and leads to death. (1 John 3:6, Romans 6, Romans 7:4, Ephesians 2:10, Titus 2:11-14, and many more)

·         The gift of the Holy Spirit. (Acts 2:38-39, Titus 3:4-7, Acts, and many more)

·         Keeping His commandments. (John 17:3, 1 John 2:3, 1 John 3:24, and many more)

There are so many more assurances and evidences talked about in the Bible, but we have to be careful that we seek not the assurance of salvation and the evidences of salvation. We seek to know God and get God; not just get the benefits, the proof, and the stuff. Salvation is about God’s merciful, and gracious love, not our boasting that we have received it.

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him will not perish, but have everlasting life.”  - John 3:16

“But God shows His love for us, that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”  Romans 5:8

My prayer for you is that God would move in your heart to cause you to desire to know Him, love Him, and pursue Him with all of your life, because he knew you, loved you, and has, was, and is pursuing you, even now.

True Celebration

I spent this past weekend in College Station visiting my family, my Pine Cove Ranch family, a number of good friends, as well as the sights and sounds of Aggieland. One of the many benefits of working for Chevron is a 9/80 schedule, which allows me to get every other Friday off. I used this opportunity to bolt on down to see most everybody.

This was my first trip back since graduating, so in truth I had more people to see than I had time to. I was stretched thin all weekend, so if you are reading this and I did not get to spend time with you, I apologize.

What a blessing it was to get to reconnect with so many wonderful people from Pine Cove Ranch! It was so great to hear how everybody is doing and get to share what God has been doing in my life. I am kind of a novelty in that group, because I am on of the few who has graduated. I cannot tell you how many times I was asked, “How is the real world?”, “How is West Texas?”, or “How is it being a real man?” I loved getting to share that God has provided just what I have needed and is working even in this place.

Seeing my family was also such a blessing, as always. Words cannot express the joy they bring into my life.

Going back helped me realize what I had when I lived in College Station: bountiful, solid community. Honestly, to some degree I had forgotten about all of the people that have had such an influence in my life that still live there. These people include family, Pine Cove people, friends, and especially the community at Living Hope. I am completely worn out emotionally from telling what God is doing in my life, because I have an extremely low word-count. (My theory is that every person has a number of words that he/she uses on a normal day, and once he/she uses that amount, then he/she either clams up or speaks very little. Men have much lower word-counts than women do on average.) Because I have a relatively low word-count and am very independent in nature, it took all I had to continue to share the same stories and experiences with sincerity. However, it was important to remind others of how faithful our God is.

Saturday morning at the tailgate, about six of us were tossing around the football in Spence Park. I tried to be cool and volleyball set the football to a buddy, but ended up hitting my forehead with the football and flinging my Aggie Ring off. I saw it fly off, but was unable to find it right away. We looked all around for about 45 minutes with no luck. At one point, I noticed that there were about 20 people helping us look for my hard-earned, key into the Aggie Network; old men, women and children whom none of us knew, were down on their hands and knees searching for this sacred piece of jewelry. I decided that if we could not find it, then a random passer-by could not either, so we left it in Spence Park until after the game. Any true Aggie would turn it in if they found it, so I was not worried at all.

After the Aggies tried to play football, we piled up and went to buy a metal detector at Academy. When I set it on the counter to pay for it, the girl at the register asked if I had lost my Aggie ring. Apparently, Academy in College Station only sells metal detectors to people who have lost their Aggie Ring. Who knew?

We finally got back to ground zero. At this point in the day, there were still hundreds of people tailgating in Spence Park. We were throwing the football on a hill opposite of the main tailgating area, so most everyone could see us searching for it. About 2 minutes into the search with the metal detector, it beeped. We all gathered tightly around Monty. We heard people in Spence Park start talking, “They found something!”  Will reached down and held up that expensive, costly piece of gold as the rest of us jumped for joy and screamed. The next thing we know, all of Spence Park erupted into a cheer that lasted about 30 seconds. They (most of them drunk…) were so excited that we had found what we were looking for. It was such a crazy and incredible experience that I am getting goose bumps just writing about it.

So is it in Heaven. Jesus said in Luke 15:7, concerning the lost but found sheep:

“Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in Heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.”

Likewise in Luke 15: 10, concerning the lost, but found coin:

“Just so, I tell you, there is joy before the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”

Moreover, the same in Luke 15: 32, concerning the return of the prodigal son:

“It was fitting to celebrate and be glad, for this your brother was dead, and is alive; he was lost, and is found.”

I have a couple of men at work right now who are dreadful sinners in need of a Savior, but are beginning to ask questions about sin, Christianity, and Jesus. I cannot wait for God to move in their hearts and bring them from death to life. What a celebration it will be one day!

Ancient Paths - The Way Everlasting

My grandparents came into town this weekend to spend some time with me. A number of years ago, my Papa lived in Odessa as a young child. Early in his career, he lived here in Midland working for an oil company. My Meme also lived here for a short time, and Midland, Texas was the first place that my grandparents met. (I know they have told me the stories multiple times, but I do not want to butcher the details here, so I will refrain from the specifics…)

We went driving around different parts of Midland and Odessa. Partly I was showing them around, partly they were showing me around, but mostly we were spending time together; laughing, sharing stories, gleaning wisdom and enjoying the West Texas Plains. I showed them my office and some of the places that I already have a connection. We drove by the church where my Papa was baptized as a young man. We found the courthouse downtown where Papa had met Meme one afternoon to tell her that he was being transferred out of Midland. They both remembered that afternoon as if it was yesterday; it was a pivotal point in their relationship, not to mention my existence. We spent Saturday afternoon driving around the ‘old town’ looking for old houses that they had lived in. This endeavor was far less successful than the previous destinations, considering the fact we had no clue what streets they lived on, only general areas. They told me that in 35 years I’ll get to have my revenge on my kids or grandkids (oh my goodness!!!) by showing them all of my old places.

The rest of the weekend was spent looking at photographs from their travels to the Scandinavian part of Europe, drinking black coffee, sharing a wonderful breakfast together fresh from the kitchen of yours truly, attending FBC Midland where they both had attended some 53 years ago and saying our goodbyes. Meme and Papa are not shy about sharing advice and wisdom, although sometimes it is veiled in a story or experience that they had when they were younger. Meme is passionate about missions and spreading the gospel to our communities as well as the nations, so she naturally encourages me to get involved as much as I can. Papa is a giver and loves to serve, and he quietly, but boldly challenges me to do the same.

One experience that I do not think I will ever forget happened as they were leaving my apartment. Papa had loaded all of the stuff in the car, and he was eager to get on the road on schedule (like most Smith men). Meme was telling me a story about some pastor, I am sure. Papa could have easily said, “Sandra, alright that’s enough. It’s time to get on the road.” However, he stood there and patiently listened to his wife tell the story, which he had probably already heard. Meme finished her story and reached for a package out of nowhere. Meme had bought Papa a book by Bruce Wilkinson entitled You Were Born for This. Now I have never read the book, but apparently, it is about being a giver. Meme handed it to Papa along with a handwritten note on flowery card. He was thankful for the gift and leaned over and kissed my Meme right on the lips; right in front of me. Even after 50+ years, they still love each other and want to continue to build one another up. Papa then commented that he would mail me the book once he read it: a true giver. Neither of them realized what they had just done, but both had showed their love through either their patience or their service to the other.

At my current age, I cherish my time with them, because I am starting to see the Godly example that they have been to myself, my cousins, my parents, my aunts and uncles, friends in their church, members of their community, coworkers for many years and so many countless others. God only knows the impact that they have had through their generosity, faithfulness, commitment and service. I know that I will model how I spend my money, time and talents after Ray and Sandra Smith.

Again, I found myself extremely thankful and blessed this afternoon after they left, just as I did about a month ago when my parents left. Not only do I have parents that love the Lord and have modeled what it looks like to follow Jesus with my life, but I have a wonderful set of grandparents who have done the same.

Father, thank you for Godly parents and grandparents who understand Your grace. Help me to follow their examples and seek their wisdom. Continue to open my eyes to Your goodness in my life.

“Thus says the LORD: “Stand by the roads, and look, and ask for the ancient paths, where the good way is; and walk in it, and find rest for your souls.”                - Jeremiah 6:16

“Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!”                   - Psalm 139:23-24